It seems like since Sean has been gone I am playing the waiting game. If he doesn't call and wake me up then he normally will call between 9 and 11:30. Then if he doesn't call in the morning, he may call at night around 9:30- 2:00 am. Sometimes I wait all day and he doesn't get to call. I'm always looking at the time and adding 9 hours to it and seeing what time it is in Iraq. In a way it's like we are dating all over again. Every time the phone rings, my heart stops and I hope it's him. I go home on my lunch break, just to see if I have a letter from him. I'm always disappointed when I have no mail or it's not him calling me. It really does seem like I am always waiting. Sometimes it seems like no one understands what this is like. Which I know is not true, millions of families are doing the exact same thing I am doing. It's just hard for people who get to see their significant other everyday or at least talk to them, to understand what its like to not talk for days or see each other for 6 months. I miss doing simple little things like reading in bed together, or a simple kiss. It gets VERY old doing everything alone.
I went and got 3 books about surviving deployments and so far two of them are just stupid. I mean STUPID! One of the do nots was don't take all your husbands money while he is gone. Another was don't cheat on your husband while he is gone. I kid you not! (Sean has told me stories of wifes taking all the money and cheating on their husband while they are in Iraq) You do not even want to get me started on this! How can a person be so selfish and ignorant to cheat on their husband when they are fighting so you are free?! I can go on and on about how mad this makes me! So instead of reading more books, I am basically just staying busy and seeing how that works!! I just hate that our lives are both on pause for a year. I just hate all our first holidays, anniversary, and birthdays as a married couple are going to be spend apart. I really try hard not to complain because as long as he comes home , I can deal with anything, but I am having a bad weekend. It's nice to at least vent on my blog.
I talked to Sean last night for about 15 minutes. He went on his first mission. He isn't allowed to tell me alot of the details, but from what I understood, they found and detonated a bomb. He was excited to put all his training to use. I wasn't very excited to hear about him playing with bombs!! He is going again today. It makes me worry so much more when I know he is on a mission. At the same time, no news is good news. Sorry for a whole post complaining!! I will continue playing our little waiting game for at least 11 more months...........
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3 comments:
It's ok to vent! It's ok to be mad at the chick in the mall holding hands with her boyfriend. We hate them! Staying busy is the best thing you can do. You'll never stop adding 9 hours to the time and your heart will always stop beating when your phone rings. Those things never stop but somehow, one day you realize how strong you really are and that somewhere along the line you got "used" to it. By the time this happens you'll be past the half way point of his deployment and everyday will be exciting because he's almost home! ...not really but something changes once your on the downside. I know that seems forever away.
Oh and the stupid books... i've known girls to do both cheat and/or spend every dime. Some people need a book to tell them how to be decent human beings! Sean is very lucky that you're not one of them. :)
Keep your head up! Love you
Jill
I know you are lonely, my friend. I was feeling a little lonely this weekend too! Next week we'll get back on our gym routine and that might help! You just gotta keep busy and not worry too much! I'm praying for Sean's safety & I pray that you can have peace of mind while he's gone. See you tonight! Love you!
I mean seriously, who needs a book to say "don't cheat on your husband". Ya know, sitting at home wondering what to do with your weekend...hmmm, eat lunch, play with the kids, cheat..OHH WAIT the book said not to! Have to scratch that one off. These people make me sick. I am very very excited about our girls weekend coming up! :) Hopefully that will help cheer you up some!! Love you!
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